2022 IN REVIEW

In writing my last blog of 2022, I thought I’d reflect on the state of the world this past year. The very idea brought my thoughts immediately to England, back before the second world war. That was when my late father-in-law was visiting his prospective wife’s parents when they asked him, with all the primness that a Brit can muster, what he thought of the international situation. The reply was, “It’s a bugger.” As far as I can see, things haven’t changed much.

First we have Vlad (the Impaler) Pootine and his war in the U-Crane. Isn’t megalomania a wonderful thing? Apparently Vlad got into this fracas expecting two outcomes, the first being that his troops would spend three days driving down sunny highways, lined with happy peasants throwing flowers at their ‘liberators’. Woops! The second outcome Vlad expected was to win the coveted title of ‘Great’. It appears that historians reward megalomaniacs with the appellation ‘Great’ – if they prove themselves particularly brutal and bloodthirsty psychopaths and, most importantly, are successful in their efforts at conquest. Yes, Vlad wanted to join the ranks of Alexander, Katherine, Frederick and all those others listed as ‘Great’ in history’s books. It seems to me that if greed and conquest is to be eradicated from the world, it’s not going to happen until the time comes when a would-be conqueror steps forward to order an invasion, and the people of his own country lock him up. A good first step would be for everyone, historians included, to stop calling all these bloodthirsty nincompoops ‘Great’.

Second place for bloodthirsty idiocy is the result of religious fanatics exercising secular power. Isn’t it strange that every major religion is supposed to spread their messages of peace and love, but give those clerics control of a country and they will order murder, torture, executions and every other kind of gore – and insist they’re doing God’s work in the same breath. Yes, a cleric in control has absolute faith that there is no God but his God and that anyone who doesn’t believe that should be exterminated. Right now we can point our fingers at the Ayatollahs in Iran and the Taliban in Afghanistan, but anyone who has read European history knows that the Catholics and other Christian sects don’t have a very good track record in this department either. The moral of the story is not to mix religion and politics – secular politicians are bad enough.

On the waiting list of hopeful bloodbaths is Serbia and Croatia. Apparently the Serbs and the Croats are spitting on each other in the hopes they can soon escalate to murder and mayhem. Vlad is encouraging both sides to go at it, as he hopes it might takes people’s minds off his own crappy efforts at becoming ‘Great’.

Many belonging to the Publican Party in ‘Murica are still living in Denial (it’s the largest suburb in Washington D.C.), traveling in their gas powered snits and regularly visiting the metropolis of Moralbankrupville. Everyone is awaiting the second coming of Messiah Ronald Rump – they’re just not sure if he’s headed for a Whitey House resurrection or jail… stay tuned.

The Brits are in chaos and freezing in the cold because no one can afford to pay their energy bills anymore. The country went through more Prime Ministers this year than some people did rolls of toilet paper. One PM got turfed because she thought the way to salvation was to cut taxes for the filthy rich – one of the best laughs in the country since Boris Boing Boing denied toasting COVID at one his famous parties. It’s not just ‘Murica where the best comedians are conservative politicians.

And here in Kanadoodle we still have Dustbin Truthless of the Libelous Party as our Prime Ribber, despite a recent poll showing half of Kanadoodlians would like him gone. According to the same poll, voters still preferred him to Pierre (cluck, cluck) Poulet of the Consumptive Party and both were well behind the sizable percentage of voters who that thought Jughead Sings of the Nearly Dead Party is the best of the current leaders. With a line-up like that, we can hardly wait for the next election, which will no doubt be stolen by Chinese government interference.

Of course there are still way too many people in the world, climate change is wreaking havoc, COVID is now on it 450,000th wave, storms of the century are becoming the norm and shoveling mountains of snow is not a good idea for those of us over seventy year old. In short, the latest poll puts Earth as the most likely inhabited planet in the galaxy to turn into a lump of coal just in time for Christmas.

TL:DR – Mars is not be the only angry red planet in the solar system these days, so stop and smell the roses – while you still can.

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