Two Elections – One Outcome

With only seventeen months left before their next Presidential election, Kanadoodle’s great neighbors to the south have already gone into roaring high gear with Ronald Rump, the incumbent Grand High Imperial Twitterbug (GHIT) announcing his bid to run again for the highest office in the Unilateral Silly Alliances. Kanadoodle is supposed to elect their Prime Ribber at the end of October this year and it’s caused not much more than a yawn among the populace here. It doesn’t take much digging to discover the difference.

Consider the Rump and his 2015 slogan to ‘Make ‘Murica Grate Again!’ What with billion dollar expenditures on walls, new tariffs, trade wars, ripping up international agreements, Middle Yeast saber-rattling and groping them women back in their place I’d say ‘Muricans have finally found a GHIT that lives up to his campaign promises – never has ‘Murica grated the rest of the world quite so extensively as under their current GHIT.

With the economy booming, the GHIT zapping his foes on his Twit Account, his championing trickle down economics that is fueling the billionaire race to see who can become the world’s first trillionaire, not to mention the Rump’s iron adherence to the politicians’ creed to ‘never tell the truth when a lie serves better,’ I just can’t see anything stopping the GHIT from another successful romp to the White Hacienda. Besides, the youngest Rump is only just getting the hang of the bowling alley.

Back here in Kanadoodle, on the other hand, we have our Prime Ribber proclaiming a ‘climate emergency’ while rededicating the country to a pipe dream from the province of Roberta, a fiery promise to melt all single use plastic into a gigantic ball and ship it overseas so we can pay to have it shipped back and a personal assurance that his commitment to ban plastics is uh…we take bottles…uh…well…uh…change..uh…to…milk – maybe boxes…er…cartons…uh –

………well, YOU get the point – if we have to wait for him to spit it out we’ll still be here past the election.

Politics in Kanadoodle just doesn’t have the razz-matazz that you find in ‘Murica. It’s like the whole country is bogged down in tarry black goo, leaking from a pipe dream. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re living in a country that’s famous for not being grate. I suppose we’ll elect somebody, but it’s not going to be the same as in the south where they know how to give a kick in the Rump. Two very different elections but one outcome is certain; in politics stupidity always wins.

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