For the most part, our glorious leader, Dustbin Truthless, the Prime Ribber of Kanadoodle, is sitting back and smugly smiling at the antics of the opposition as they try to get some traction out of the latest political scandals. First there’s the Minister of Deference, Hardhit Sandbag. According to Erring O’Fool, leader of the Consumptive Party, Sandbag’s handling of the General scandal is… well, a scandal. He insists that Sandbag just isn’t up to the job. O’Fool is supported in this contention by the current and former military ombcrudsmen. Everybody knows that the Department of Deference in Kanadoodle is an important role, but Sandbag’s ability to raise bag money for the Libelous Party seems to make him an untouchable minister. The Libelous Party will continue filling the air with fine sounding words about reform and continue to do what politicians always do when faced with troubling moral issues – nothing. Really, I can’t imagine O’Fool will get much out of this imbroglio.
In fact, those of us isolating in the home igloo with a few brewskies could learn something from Sandbag – in politics, it’s best to ignore allegations of sexual harassment against a chief General until they retire. If the news outlets get hold of the story after that, it’s best to stay inside and avoid being rained on by a deluge of falling generals and golf bags. I, for one, am not worried that the only ranking person left to lead Kanadoodle’s military is now a lance corporal.
The Nearly Dead Party, led by that fellow whose name nobody can remember, had its kick at the Iglooarliament. Their retiring member from the Polar Cap left the House with a candid appraisal of the work that goes on: racial profiling, smoke and mirrors and a dedication to the part of the Politician’s Creed that demands leaders never walk the talk. It’s only surprising that someone would sound so surprised at politicians being politicians.
Then there’s the Greenies’ Party and their new and fearless leader, Ms. Andme-me-me-drawl, chosen as a triple threat in the war for most inclusive sounding leader – going two better than the Nearly Dead Party with their… whoever their leader is. I’m especially impressed with Andme-me-me-drawl’s grasp of issues from the Middle Yeast. You may remember that Isthatreal’s (now former) Prime Ribber, Benjamin BunnyYahoo, began stealing property from the Paleswineians and followed it up by dropping bombs on their heads. If I feel sorry for those being bombed, I am no doubt an anti-smetite, at least according to Ms. Andme-me-me-drawl’s staff. Who would have known? I’m most grateful to the Greenie’s for having these finer points of the international situation explained. I, and the rest of the hoi-polloi, can sleep more soundly knowing the Greenies have a really inclusive sounding leader who can still manage to exclude everyone that doesn’t agree with her.
But that’s not Andme-me-me-drawl’s only claim to fame. This week she lost a third of her elected members when Splendica Chatwin crossed the floor and started playing footsies with Dustbin Truthless. Ms. Andme-me-me-drawl followed this up by insisting that the Prime Ribber’s toes, despite his rhetoric, are no friend to feminism. I wonder how long it took her to figure that out?
Yes, it’s been a heck of a week in Kanadoodle’s political landscape. The Prime Ribber looks like he has nothing to fear from the opposition at this point – they all seem to have a gift for making him look good by comparison.
Democracy in action! Available only in Kanadoodle – pity.