Pass the Holy Hand Grenade

There’s nothing like a few good massacres to once again bring on a barrage of calls for gun control – not to mention a sputtering rage from gun enthusiasts. Is there a place for weapons in a modern society?  Is there some sort of compromise in this endless debate?  There are, after all, perfectly normal people who hunt all manner of game and manage to exclude homo-sapiens from their menu.  Do we penalize everyone because of a few crazies?  Some say yes – but that’s only one edge in a wide range of opinion from those advocating gun control – from those that would ban weapons entirely to those that just want better safeguards against arming the criminals and the crazies. 

Even in Kanadoodle, where there are some reasonable gun controls in place, recent events show that it’s not just guns that can bring havoc and devastation, although one can only imagine the carnage that might have ensued if the North Van nutter had access to assault style weapons.

In this continuous debate, our neighbors to the south in ‘Murica furnish lots of ammunition for the control crowd.   It seems many people there believe carrying assault weapons in one hand and a bible in the other are inseparable rights, enshrined in their constitution – a sort of ‘my right to shoot you supersedes your right to live – let us pray…’ rationale.  Perhaps that’s one of the reasons the massacres in ‘Murica are so commonplace they hardly make a ripple in their political structure.  They also have the National Rifle Association’s mantra to rely on: ‘guns don’t kill people – people kill people’.  The NRA is swift to attack anything that would limit anyone’s ability to have their weapon of choice available at any time. 

But I can’t help wondering, if you have a right to bare arms, bring on the sunscreen for heaven’s sake!  And if you believe that there should be no restriction on owning any weapon, why not encourage boxes of shiny hand-grenades and bazookas under the Christmas tree?  Heck, let’s dole out nuclear missiles to everyone and be done with it.

I guess I’m just not sure why the idea of passing a criminal record check, being of age and deemed of sound mind before being allowed to buy a weapon is so frowned upon in this land of plenteous armaments.  Even driving a car requires a test and a license.  But then, I don’t even understand why anyone outside the military would need an assault weapon that spits out more bullets in a minute than syllables from an auctioneer at a hog sale – I mean, the last time I looked, the moose, ducks and deer weren’t banding together in platoons and arming themselves with M-16s in defense of their turf.

So if the NRA thinks that guns don’t kill people – people kill people… why aren’t they at the forefront of those advocating for the kind of gun controls that might help keep weapons out of the hands of criminals and crazy people?


 ‘Murica – a land of mysteries.

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