In Praise of Anti-Vaccers

I saw a posting a few days ago about someone in ‘Murica who had a serious medical emergency but couldn’t find a hospital to go to.  There was no room for him as all the wards were full of unvaccinated people who had COVID.  There’s a constant stream of news about the many people whose life enhancing surgeries have been cancelled because… you got it – the hospitals are too full of people with COVID who wouldn’t get vaccinated.  If this sounds perfect, consider the anti-vaccine/anti-mask groups in Kanadoodle that have been busy protesting outside of hospitals, shouting obscenities and spitting at doctors and nurses as they try to get into work.   The anti-vaccine crowd display similar behavior at political rallies, ranting against the use of ‘health passports’ and throwing rocks at a certain political leader.

Since the introduction of the vaccine, health experts now consider COVID a preventable disease.  Get a vaccine and avoid the disease while helping protect family, friends and neighbors.  Self-preservation seems a pretty simple concept so how bewildering is it to watch the antics of the anti-vaccine groups?  Perhaps you are wondering if they’re just plain crazy?

Perhaps it’s all in a noble cause – the anti-vaccination group has recognized that the root of all the world’s problems is overpopulation.  The four horsemen of the Apocalypse just haven’t been pulling their weight for quite some time now, leading to a huge increase in the population that, in turn, overuses the Earth’s resources causing climate change, mental illness, Donald Trump and a host of other nasty things.  The poor old horsemen obviously need help and what better way to keep the population down than by spreading killer diseases?  

Yes, we have to start thinking of the anti-vaccine group as unsung heroes.  Let’s not forget, after all, that the best chance of dying from the disease is to remain unvaccinated while running around in large screaming crowds while refusing to wear a mask.  Yes, these selfless volunteers are willing to lead the way in de-populating the Earth by standing up for the right of COVID to help decrease the surplus population.  Some might even dream that they could be the chosen one – the first to develop a new variant more deadly than all the others – praying that they might be the first to gasp their last breath in a sacrifice to their beliefs.  Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!  It’s as exciting as waiting for the second coming – except we count COVID in waves.

No wonder anti-vaccers abuse health care workers’ efforts to save them and throw stones at vaccine passport politicians – how can they spread the disease if they can’t wander about unvaccinated in large screaming mask-less groups?   And they certainly can’t help reduce the Earth’s population if health care workers rush in and foolishly save their lives.

Yes, it’s time to get behind this noble group and let them carry on in their path to a better world.  Stop filling up hospital wards with the unvaccinated – smile, thank them for their commitment and send them home with our grateful thanks for their sacrifice.  As we bid them adieu we can rest easy knowing they’ve carved a path to a better world – a world with more room to live and breath – a world in which there are a whole lot less crazy people. 

And what of the on-going election in Kanadoodle?  As we suffer through the tail end of an election campaign, both major parties have now conclusively proven they’re unfit for office.  I can only look forward to the day when Marvin Martian runs for Prime Ribber of Kanadoodle.  I guess in this election I’ll just have to write his name on the ballot. 


Fight the good fight oh ye jolly band of anti-vaccers! 

Elect Marvin Martian!

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