Is there another country better at apologizing than Kanadoodle? Yup, up in the frozen north, we may huddle in our igloos and kick back the brewskies, but when it comes to a good frozen apology, there’s no one that can touch us. Just look at all the practice we’ve had in the past decade or so. We’ve had an apology to first nations for forcing all their children into schools run by religious sadists and another apology for the first nations’ victims that died from an overdose of these schools’ diseases. Kanadoodle has also officially apologized to: Kanadoodlians of Chinese descent who paid taxes for the privilege of coming to Kanadoodle to help build our railroad, to Kanadoolians of East Indian descent who hopped on the Komagata Maru back in 1914, to Kanadoodlians of Japanese descent who were sent to wander in the wilderness in WWII and to Kanadoodlians of Italian descent who also got misplaced in WWII.
We can’t neglect to praise former Prime Ribber, Stepfan Harpy, who really got the apology ball rolling and made one to the First Nations back when the Consumptive Party formed the government. Harpy gave a pretty polished apology without any action, but our current Prime Ribber, Dustbin Truthless, has brought the government’s sincere sounding apology without action to a zenith. Nobody looks nearly as convincing as Truthless in the midst of a heartfelt apology that everyone knows will result in inaction.
Now there are the cynics who credit all this generously sorry outpouring to the Harpy government’s 2009 law called the ‘Apology Act’. This wonderful law allows the government to offer apologies that express ‘sympathy or regret but not an admission of liability or fault’. Perfect – Pope Francis should be taking notes… Now – if there are any groups looking for a half-hearted apology, step up now while the time is ripe.
Being a politician means never having to say sorry and mean it.