Where, or Where Can He Be?

I am sure that my loyal followers have been wondering where I’ve been.    What have I been doing to drag me away from those juicy headlines that have ignited the very air in crackling electrical currents over the past few months?  A quick sampling will suffice to show that I haven’t been entirely bereft of news or the gnus.  I shall place everything in order of importance for the ease of my readers.  Let’s start back at the beginning with the REALLY big news:

– Harry and Megan were seen around Victoria!

– Ronald Rump, the Grand High Imperial Twitterbug (GHIT) of ‘Murica sent a birthday present to one of the leaders of Eyerack.  This in itself was unusual as the GHIT has often berated Eyerack for their constant nagging (called Aya-toll-yas).  It was most unfortunate that the gift blew up and took the leader with it.  Angry words were exchanged, the world was briefly on the brink of war when…

-HARRY AND MEGAN might be buying a house in Canadoodle!

– Barnyard Slanders took the lead in the Demo-rats primarilies, hoping he’ll be their candidate to challenge Rump in the next election to become the new GHIT! And then…

– HARRY AND MEGAN are back in Inkland (land of a million scribes) while Canadoodle fights over how to pay for his protection racket if he moves here.

– the Country of Porcelain (sometimes known as Bone China) has begun exporting a new and exciting product – Coved999!  Thousands have been falling down all over Porcelain after a whiff of this remarkable deodorant – and hasn’t the world news been clamoring over the whole affair! And then…

– HARRY AND MEGAN ARE WITHDRAWING FROM ROYAL DUTIES!!!!! (Queenie is not amused)

– Sales of Coved999 are soaring in many countries – causing long line-ups at the shops carrying the new product.  And then…

– HARRY AND MEGAN ARE MOVING TO CANADOODLE, BUYING A HOME IN THE PROVINCE OF BLUNDER COUNTRY – WHAT KIND OF HAT WILL MEGAN WEAR?

– Demo-rat Bloombug spends half a billion dollars to find he just hasn’t GHIT what it takes while Slow Biding makes a comeback.  How will Barnard become GHIT when he keeps insisting that the filthy rich pay their fair share of taxes – this is ‘Murica, right?

MEGAN AND HARRY DO WHATEVER IT IS THEY’RE DOING!!!!

You might well ask what I could possibly be spending my time on rather than comment on these fascinating items.  As it turns out, it’s just my usual dedication to selfish pleasures and amusements.  The newest draft of my fantasy novel ‘The Odin Incident’ is close to finished.  I’ve been working to bring some life into the first half of the book – a little more character development, a little more conflict and a dragon that’s willing to spend 30 million dollars for a nude painting featuring a nipple ring… I’ll give you a taste sometime later this week.

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